MURFREESBORO, TN – On Monday, Smyrna resident Leroy Higgins drove his 1992 Chevrolet pickup truck down Broad Street in Murfreesboro, tailgating and darting through traffic like a complete and utter jackass.

Higgins, 26, is an unemployed welder. He lives in a two bedroom trailer in Smyrna with his girlfriend, Brandie Lynn, and their six children, Tammy, Darlene, Jim Bob, Bubba, and twins Walker and Texas Ranger.

Higgins bought the old pickup truck in 2009, telling friends and family that “this road needs some ass kicking.” He promptly outfitted the truck with a gun rack, an assortment of NASCAR stickers, and a four foot wide “Roll Tide” decal across the entire rear window.

Once positioned behind an innocent driver, Higgins typically cranks up the volume on his stereo and pulls his truck approximately eighteen inches behind the other car, because, you know, what good is a pickup truck if you’re not going to drive it like a complete prick?

Witnesses appeared shocked to see a pickup truck driving like an insufferable ass, and were quick to comment that the driver must be very important, have a high self-esteem, and have an above average penis size.

“I bought this truck to outrun everybody,” said Higgins. “I want everybody to know that I got a confederate flag, some Mountain Dew, and the biggest pecker this side of Woodbury.”

On Monday, as the other drivers moved out of the way, Higgins turned up his Skynyrd, took a swig of Mountain Dew, and sped through traffic at eighty miles an hour, leaving a trail of Walmart receipts and scratch-off lottery tickets floating through the summer air.