MURFREESBORO, TN – In a continuous disappointment to the four people who actually appreciate good satire, local satirist Sam Clemens is out here acting like his fake newspaper is just a hobby.

Clemens, known to the Murfreesboro community for his wit, charm, and virility, created a fake newspaper years ago that has generated enough popularity to pay him zero dollars and zero cents to date.

Over the past few years, Clemens has disappeared for weeks or months at a time on multiple occasions, including a notorious Facebook ban. Upon his return, Clemens often provides some far-fetched explanation that your great aunt thinks may not be entirely accurate.

“Where does he go for weeks at time?” Asked one commenter. “How can he just neglect satire writing like it’s just a hobby?”

Editor’s Note: Satire is actually just a hobby to Sam Clemens. Satire does not pay for rent, groceries, or Asian massage parlors (yet). If you have a complaint about his absence or vacation time, please see our Contact Page.

Sam Clemens is the man smart enough to start a fake newspaper. He can be reached with comments, compliments, and salutations at [email protected]. If you have a complaint, please see our Contact Page.