NASHVILLE, TN – The Vanderbilt Commodores defeated the Tennessee Volunteers on Saturday by a final score of 45-34. However, the most significant news story of the evening involved Head Coach Butch Jones, the Game of Life, and some self-created superlatives.

Last Monday, Tennessee Head Coach Butch Jones started a firestorm when he told the media that, while the Volunteers have massively underperformed this season, his players “won the biggest championship– that’s the championship of life.”

When we talked about winning championships. They’re a champion. They’ve won the biggest championship— and that’s the championship of life. ¬†Butch Jones, November 21, 2016.

In the days that followed, it became immensely clear that, instead of studying game film or practicing or preparing or doing football things or justifying his coaching salary in any way, Coach Jones had the Tennessee Volunteers playing hours upon hours of The Game of Life.

After the loss to Vanderbilt, Jones has made another monumental announcement, possibly putting Tennessee in position to play board games better than any senior center or ladies group in the entire Southeastern United States.

“These kids have fought so hard this season, and I’m damn proud of them,” said Jones. “They’ve worked hard enough to be more than the Champions of Life. They are now the Champions of Yahtzee.”

For his part, Jones seemed inexplicably pleased to rule the world in a game designed for eight year olds.

The Murfreesboro Tribune Board Game Research Bureau spent hours locked in a room with one box of Yahtzee and a whole lot of weed and we can confirm that this game is pretty damn easy.