CLUB FED ALL-INCLUSIVE, BAHAMAS – As reported by local news affiliates that we steal stuff from, Ex-Sheriff and convicted felon Bob Darnold has been moved to a minimum security federal prison in the Caribbean called “Club Fed” following complaints by his mother that jail is hard. The Murfreesboro Tribune sent Female Reporter Nell E. Bly […]
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PRISONTOWN, KY – In news that surprises absolutely no one, Jeanette Keyeez, Sheriff Bob Darnold’s mother, is pretty upset that her son, who is being held in jail awaiting trial, is being treated like he is being held in jail. Keyeez wrote a letter to the judge presiding over Darnold’s case, as if the judge […]
PRISONVILLE, KY – A federal judge ruled Monday that embattled Rutherford County Sheriff Bob Darnold will be suspended from his position without pay, effective immediately, which paves the way for Darnold to focus on his newly-acquired prison career: shank whittling. Darnold has been incarcerated in federal prison in Kentucky for several weeks now, during which […]
MURFREESBORO – Rutherford County Constable and likely future felon Bob Darnold reported to work on Thursday whistling his favorite Nickelback jam, seemingly unaware of an impending federal criminal trial that is poised to strip Darnold of his most basic civil liberties. “I’m not really sure what the big deal is,” said Darnold, who, in just […]
NASHVILLE, TN – After years of hard work, Rutherford County Sheriff Bob Darnold has moved his work station to the Davidson County Jail, securing a rent-free office as an inmate being held against his will. Darnold has spent years working to obtain a rent-free jail cell, using such methods as the repeated commission of flagrant […]
MURFREESBORO, TN – In an interview Wednesday, Murfreesboro Mayor Sugar Shane McHarland appeared to threaten the life of Darnold, a three month old basset hound that is presently in the care of the City of Murfreesboro. Darnold is a touch slow, but was somehow still selected for this position. Below is an excerpt from the […]
MURFREESBORO, TN – In what Mayor Sugar Shane McHarland heralded as “the most cooperative meeting we’ve ever had,” members of the Murfreesboro City Council on Monday held a first reading of the list of possible candidates deemed unworthy enough to lend their name to the much-maligned “Bridge Over Broad Street” project. Several council members have […]
MURFREESBORO, TN – Embattled Rutherford County Constable Bob Darnold issued a message to his lone supporter on Monday, emphasizing that he has no intention of resigning his position in crime prevention. “I want to thank my supporter,” said Darnold. “And by that I mean the one person out there who still has faith in me […]
The Murfreesboro Police Department arrested Bob Darnold Friday, capping a months-long investigation into alleged misconduct by Darnold and his friend Joey “Slick” Tussell. Darnold appeared surprised at his arrest, expressing confusion as to how several months of repeated public misconduct had caught the attention of local authorities. Authorities began investigating Darnold and Tussell in 2014, […]
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