MURFREESBORO, TN – It’s December 26th, the day after Christmas, and you had one too many a hot toddy last night to be waking up this damn early.

Your spouse is still asleep because his family didn’t come into town for the holidays and he is resting peacefully without the annoyance of family drama bouncing around in his head.

Your kids are awake and playing with toys because oh-my-God that’s all they do.

And you? You’re reliving the hangovers of your younger days, making sure not to move your head, or it may not stop spinning, and physically feeling every drop of whiskey that is coursing through your veins and bouncing around in your tummy.

Every other day of the year, this would be the worst morning in history. You can’t sleep, your spouse can, you feel like your spent the night drinking forties and smoking Pall Malls, and your kids won’t shut the hell up.

But no matter how bad today may be, you can lay your head back down in peace knowing one thing: your family is gone.

To where? Who cares? They’re not in your house anymore.

So wake up, pour a bloody Mary, and get to work reassembling your house. You can throw out Uncle Jerry’s spittoon and your nephew’s food plate that he refused to throw away even after your sister told him to (that little shit).

Merry Christmas from The Murfreesboro Tribune!