MURFREESBORO, TN – It’s Election Day, Murfreesboro! That time of year where strangers jump into our personal space to explain how they are going to save America by serving on our local road board.

In a surprising turn of events, a guy that you have known for years, who has never mentioned state or local elections one time, even in passing or on social media, has evolved into a passionate advocate for involvement in state and local elections, with an emphasis on everyone voting for him.

Meet Jesse Pinkel, Candidate for Murfreesboro City School Board. Jesse, 34, is an accountant with Dewey Dickham & Howe. Prior to this year, Jesse was unaware that this city even held elections. However, now that he is running for office, he believes that you and every red-blooded American should fight earth, wind, and fire to get to your polling station on election day.

Pinkel has posted approximately eight hundred and sixty-seven status updates to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram since yesterday morning, which no one close to him has had the heart to tell him have earned his campaign the combined love and affection generally given to posts from Plexus and That Crazy Wrap Thing.

Recently, Pinkel took a bold stand in the election, offering services to orphans in exchange for votes, but passively threatening orphans if you don’t get on this make-school-boards-great-again train.

Pinkel

Polls will close at 7:00 p.m. tonight, at which time Pinkel will let his Facebook followers know whether he loves them all or plans to burn this place to the ground.