MURFREESBORO, TN – MTSU Athletics issued a press release Friday to remind the public that the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders play Division-I baseball in a real baseball stadium, including baseballs, bats, helmets, stadium seating, hot dogs, beer, and the occasional DCS referral for that one baseball dad in gas station sunglasses just giving that poor kid a beating near the third base line dugout.

MTSU Athletics hopes to capitalize on the inevitably-fleeting public interest in an unofficial baseball park rendering released on social media earlier this week. While the rendering appears to have no actual planning behind it, the post nonetheless sparked spirited debate among citizens.

“From what we can gather, some bluegrass guys got lit on moonshine and worked up a Cannonsburgh Field of Dreams, I guess,” said MTSU Baseball Coach Sleepy Joe Reeves. “We just want the public to know that our stadium can be like Uncle Dave Macon Days too, just with less clogging and more baseball.”

The Murfreesboro Tribune took to the street to find out what you think about the new baseball stadium proposal. 

“I like how the rendering just dropped the stadium in there. No facilities, no parking, no traffic changes. Just BAM. A baseball stadium in the middle of an underdeveloped neighborhood. It’s a bonafide chef’s kiss.”
-David Shitswell, Social Media Provocateur

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“No, no, no. Tax payer dollars aren’t supposed to be wasted like that. They’re supposed to be wasted in other, more discreet ways. I’d hate to see tax dollars wasted on a baseball stadium instead of some regulatory efforts to make it illegal to be gay or something.”
-John Johnson, Ninth-Generation Rutherford Countian (19th Century Family Line Prolly Not the Good Guys FYI)

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“I can’t believe our mayor would share this garbage on social media.”
– Spike Prickledick, Retired Barista, Part-Time Filmmaker (He Could Have Just Said Unemployed). 

NOTE: When asked whether he actually *read* the mayor’s post, which explicitly disapproved of the stadium proposal, Prickledick flipped off the interviewer and fled the scene in a 1990s hatchback.

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Sam Clemens is the man smart enough to start a fake newspaper. He can be reached with comments, compliments, and salutations at [email protected]. If you have a complaint, please see our Contact Page.