MURFREESBORO, TN – According to a newly released report from the University of Tennessee, research has shown that not a single damn person cares about all those pictures of your kid’s Halloween costume.
The University of Tennessee Department of Obvious Information released the report, aptly titled the Spare Us Oh Gods of Social Media Report.
The Report makes various findings, which include:
- Your kid is not the cutest kid in the world.
- Your kid probably isn’t even the cutest bumblebee, tiger, piggy, bunny, puppy, kitty kat, princess, porcupine, rugby player, or drunk taxi driver at Halloween this year.
- Your kid looks the same in the fortieth picture as he did in the first, so let’s leave those last three hundred out of the album.
- Your spouse looks miserable. Let’s stop taking pictures and tend to your marriage.
- No one on social media gives a shit about your kid’s pictures.
- For every person who stops to “like” your picture on social media, approximately thirteen more think “wow this person may have a diagnosed oversharing disorder.”
Mothers on social media immediately criticized the report because, seriously, look how cute their kid is in that outfit!
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