MURFREESBORO, TN – Murfreesboro Mayor Sugar Shane McHarland announced that Food Truck Friday, frequently held at the Murfreesboro City Plaza, will temporarily move to the hallway outside of the Rutherford County Court Clerk license plate renewal office. 

“We were looking for high traffic areas,” said Mayor McHarland. “And the car tag renewal line has been backed out the door since at least the Obama administration.”

City officials praised the benefits of the new location, which include ample parking, avoiding that vagrant holding a switchblade in the library parking garage, and stunningly positive Yelp reviews (because this place has a f***ing Yelp page?!). Above all, city leaders value the mass of potential customers trudging inch-by-inch down the hallway of mid-level bureaucracy purgatory.

“These miserable pricks are stuck waiting anyways,” McHarland added, “and we thought that hallway has more potential than just a gumball machine for blind kids. Hell, I think we might get a dunk tank.”

As of the date of this article, city officials have added face painting, vendor booths, and live music to the schedule. Currently, three food trucks are booked: Schwedde Balls; The Alley on Main; and Big Nutzzz Funnel Cakes. Tragically, the Fartful Bagel remains closed.

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