NCAA Vacates National Championship UT Earned in September

KNOXVILLE, TN – In an unprecedented move, the NCAA voted unanimously Monday to vacate the Division I Football National Championship that the University of Tennessee earned through the first four games of the regular season.

“This is a difficult decision for the NCAA,” said NCAA President D. Rick Dooley. “We know that the fans, who trumpeted to the world that the University of Tennessee had pretty much earned the National Championship because they weren’t publicly embarrassed in September for the first time in about sixty years, will be immensely disappointed.”

The University of Tennessee opened the season with four resounding September victories against Sun Belt Juggernaut Appalachian State, 1999 BCS Championship Runner-Up Virginia Tech, the Ohio University Bobcats (who still play football), and a Florida Gators squad that was without Tim Tebow.

October proved more difficult for the Volunteers, who required a Hail Mary to beat Georgia (you know, that team that just lost to Vanderbilt), and then lost consecutive games to Texas A&M and Alabama, who play in the SEC West, where good football isn’t against the law.

Tennessee fans hoped that a string of inconsequential victories in the first month of the season would be enough to keep their premature National Championship hopes alive, but apparently beating teams from the ACC, the MAC, the Sun Belt Conference, the SEC East, and the Monthaven League for the Blind is not enough to convince the NCAA to be as irrational as Jim Bob Vols Fan.

“We earned that trophy,” said Volunteers Head Coach Butch Jones. “It’s a shame to see these kids who worked so hard in the first month of the season have that trophy taken away just because we had to start playing real football teams.”

When asked for how the Volunteers planned to rally after being violently throttled by the University of Alabama, Coach Jones just stared into a fictional camera and said “Brick by Brick.”

“Also, have you seen the back half of this schedule?” Coach Jones added, with a laugh. “We play South Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee Tech, Missouri, and Vanderbilt. We’ll see you in the SEC Championship Game.”

38 Comments

  1. MTSU with the little brother syndrome 🙁

  2. Who ever wrote this I fucking love you!!!

  3. Whoever wrote this can take a flying f*** at a rollin doughnut you f***in a*****e. GBO B****ES!! VOL FAN FOR LIFE!!

    (Edits added by Sam Clemens, because this classy b**** couldn’t keep it in line)

  4. Well my day is made. Hilarious! Lol

  5. If he thinks that his Blount College Vols will actually defeat Tennessee Tech then he is very mistaken! They barely squeaked by Appalachian State and Ohio. Tennessee Tech is most likely considered to be in the same category. I figure that the third time will be the end of the Mighty Vols!!!

  6. Terrance Roberts

    October 20, 2016 at 4:25 am

    Awesome good right up! Love the depth those resounding victories and beginning of the season was a rough stretch

  7. I love this!!! Nothing but FACTS in this article!! The Volunqueers are total shit when they have to play a real football team!
    ROLL
    TIDE
    ROLL!!!

  8. Whoever took the time to write that, has been trolled to the max with their hat for UT…

  9. Man r yu stupid or something. We didnt get kno championship retard

  10. ClemsonGotAllYourCroots

    October 20, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    what a stupid guarantee to make. thanks for your state’s top players

  11. Lol, I’m sure all the Vols fans had no idea the toughest part of our schedule was in October. Nobody crowned them champs, they just said they had a shot. MTSU fan being salty to the big brother’s success is all this is.

  12. Murfreesboro Tribune.

    Mic drop.

  13. Omg. So funny. And so true. Rmft. Kiss them rings vols 😉

  14. Jim Bob Vols Fan

    October 21, 2016 at 4:45 am

    Rub salt in the wounds all you want, but honestly I’m proud to be a fan of TN. Other than Bama (which looks like the best Saban team maybe ever), all the games have been competitive, and unlike last season they’ve managed to come out on top in close ones. Plus if the team can get healthy and win out they’ve got a chance to knock off Alabama (or A&M) in the championship game. It’s not a very good chance, but I’m just glad that they’re a football team that has the potential to beat anyone on any given Saturday if healthy.

  15. I’m a vols fan but I’m realistic the way we were playing I assumed we would lose to a&m and I knew we didn’t have a shot against Alabama. Also Jim Bob Cooter is the offensive coordinator of the Detroit Lions who is helping Mathew Stafford have his best season ever. Also Tebow said Tennessee has talent to compete for the college football playoff and the National championship and we didn’t rank ourselves #9. I would suggest you do some research before you make yourself sound stupid again.

  16. Thank you author for simply doing the Lords work. Most delusional fan base
    the vols are back baby”
    Bahahaha!

  17. It appears the Vol “haters” are taking this article way too seriously and obviously know nothing about their team. The first month was a struggle, but they won the games. That’s what good teams do. But in case you didn’t know, Tennessee has lost basically their entire defensive core before coming into October with injuries. It’s unfortunate, but it happens. We were clearly the better team over A&M. 7 turnovers, defense full of backup 2-3 star players, and on the road to lose in 2OT? Tennessee easily wins that game by 21 or more with half of those mistakes given back. Bama…. we had no shot at all. So, yes this was a funny article (and I’m a MTSU grad as well), but before you talk shit about Tennessee…. know the facts first

  18. Lol. I look forward to the same parody when A&M gets through with Tide Saturday✌️️

  19. After the last games of their weak schedule, they’ll get cocky again.

  20. Florida got beat and TN won. Is there still a shot at the National Title?

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