MURFREESBORO, TN – Organic enthusiasts in Rutherford County have more to celebrate at the new Sprouts Farmers Market in Murfreesboro than farm-grown quinoa and foraged kimchi.

After authorities in Amherst, New York, recently unearthed an active meth lab in a culvert that runs beneath a Walmart parking lot, local organic advocates made an entrepreneurial play of their own.

On Friday, in what appears to be an effort to outdo the soulless corporatism of Great Value fanatics (who now want to corner even the methamphetamine market), local police discovered an organic meth lab operating under Sprouts parking lot.

The response from the community has been mixed. Most citizens recognize that methamphetamine is pretty bad. What about that one jackass at the coffee shop who won’t shut up about his vegan cookie recipes? He’s all for it. It’s organic!

The Murfreesboro Tribune Investigative Team reached out to customers at Sprouts Farmers Market for input.

“Non-organic things kill you,” said Juniper Blossom, a mystic from Smyrna, who casually glossed over the dangerous and explosive nature of an active meth lab. “Watching these people commit to a healthy lifestyle of organic and non-GMO methamphetamine is inspiring.”

Willow Dawson, who currently studies gypsy fashion at Middle Tennessee State University, passed the meth lab on her way to purchase locally sourced, fair trade, gluten-free kale chips, and offered mixed sentiments.

“I’ve never tried meth,” said Dawson, “but I’m proud of these people for choosing organic.”

The Murfreesboro Police Department declined to comment on whether or not the architects of the organic meth lab will be given preferential treatment for preparing their goods in a manner that your relative who you didn’t ask for any advice will tell you is the right way to live.