MURFREESBORO, TN – Last week, the Murfreesboro Police Department and Murfreesboro Fire Department released a Lip Sync Challenge Video, a riveting addition to the peaked-weeks-ago law enforcement viral challenge performed entirely by city employees who are paid through your generous, even if forced, tax contributions.
Citing “numerous requests on social media,” including requests from the Captain, the Sergeant, and McGruff the Crime Dog, the fully-publicly-funded departments hastily launched an ill-advised voyage into low budget cinematography.
“We might have been a little late to the game,” said Police Department Spokeswoman Melinda Knight Shyamalan, “but I think the public will see that it was well worth the wait.”
“We all agreed that this video production was much more important than fighting crime or serving the public good,” Shyamalan added, echoing taxpayer praise for the practical equivalent of a summer camp skit being performed with public resources.
City employees, whose wages are paid entirely through mandatory citizen taxes and the sweet mercy of the Lord, collaborated with country rapper Big Smo “to add a WOW factor,” according to Shyamalan.
“We wanted a celebrity,” said Fire Department Media Strategist Martina Scorsese. “But not just any celebrity. We wanted someone that ninety-six percent of the country would have to google to figure out who the hell he even is.”
The finished product, hailed as “the whitest thing since Prairie Home Companion,” features enough head nodding and awkward thrusting to sufficiently piss off the preacher from Footloose.
The Murfreesboro Tribune obtained a leaked copy of the directorial notes, which instructed city employees to “nod along like you’re at a middle school dance” and “try and act like your one black friend.”
“I think it’s hilarious,” said Nora Jennings, whose trailer on Tennessee Boulevard burned to the ground while fire trucks were being used across town to lift an obscure country rapper and his matching flag off the ground.
“Definitely worth it,” Jennings wheezed between smoke-filled coughs.
At the time this article is written, Shyamalan and Scorsese hinted that the departments may collaborate on a Harlem Shake video next to show how cool and topical and hip they are.
“But only if we can do it on the clock,” Scorsese added with a wink.
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