MURFREESBORO – It’s 2:00 a.m. and Billy-what’s-his-name from two doors down just launched his seventeenth consecutive Explosion Extravaganza into the early morning air.

Welcome to the weekend of hell in your subdivision.

Sure, Billy is a working man, but he has set off fireworks with his kids for four consecutive nights now and excuse you if you’re a bit tired of talking your French Bulldog off the ledge as he barks his vocal chords out to protect you from what he must believe is a full scale military invasion directly outside of your home.

Your kids understand, of course, as you rationally explain to them why everything outside of the small room that they know and love sounds like an active warzone in Vietnam.

As your neighbors celebrate America and Freedom in an explosive white trash bash, take solace in the fact that it won’t end tonight, or tomorrow night, or two nights from now, because these people are going to burn through every Made-in-China-wick at their disposal— peace, love, and civility be damned.

It’s (within a couple days of) July 4th, America! If you got it, blow it up!