MURFREESBORO – Here at the Tribune, we love weekends. The Tribune Staff scoured upcoming local events to find some good, clean family-friendly activities for the upcoming weekend.
If you’re looking for things to do this weekend, here are some ideas straight from the Tribune Editorial Board:
1. Fight a Homeless Person
Nothing gets your heart racing like a good old-fashioned fight to the death. For added excitement, throw some jagged sticks between you and Gary, the lovable hobo.
2. Kick the Neighbor’s Dog While No One Is Looking
Let’s be honest: how long have you secretly wanted to punt that little dog like a soccer ball? Stretch thoroughly, just to be safe, and give Buddy a swift kick in the ribs. Just make sure the owner isn’t looking or you’ll have a Gary-the-Hobo caliber brawl on your hands.
3. Join in Recess at a Local School
Who didn’t love kickball as a kid? This weekend, join in the Friday recess kickball game, whether the kids want you there or not. If the kids talk back, point at a nearby van and ask if they’d rather take this fight elsewhere. Trust us. Works like a charm.
4. Quietly Resent Your Spouse
Because who the fuck does she think she is?
5. Eat at Golden Corral